Hell's ride

Are you ready for your inner gold?

We may be in for a hell of a ride when we are searching for our gold, our inner wealth. Most of the time, we have no idea that this gold is buried deep within us. Hidden in the dark corners of our souls, we can find it.

But the journey is not without danger, as it requires us to confront our inner demons, our shadows. And yet we have to claim this gold. It lies there in the deep abysses just for us.

We are never alone on our journey. Even if a dark companion accompanies us, he is our psychopomp, our soul's guide, who helps us through the rough terrain of our soul.

We should trust him if he meets us in a dream or imagination. He only has good things in mind. He leads us to our gold. Whether we accept it or not is entirely up to us. For some, the burden is too big. Then he will accompany us back, but we will no longer be the same.

Some people will be familiar with the term 'the dark night of the soul'. I have experienced many such nights and have died a thousand deaths. And yet a force within me has always brought me back from the darkest depths. A power that I couldn't see and sometimes I couldn't even feel, it was so dark inside me. But my Soul Guide was always stronger than my darkness. And with each "return" something in me seemed to be healed and lit up in the truest sense of the word. Part of me had died and another part was finally able to unfold. I have many stories to tell.The dark and the light ones.

Whether we realise it or not, the descent into our (spiritual) underworld is always associated with a comprehensive transformation, a death. But remember:
Ignoring your shadow means ignoring your inner gold, your true wealth.

There's no way out: if you want it, you will have to go through hell. And you will die!

PROLOGUE

A dark scene with a portrait of a black horse looking menacingly. The picture is the visual introduction to the poem "Höllentritt".

Now and then opens the portal
that unreal room of vastness...
in deep recognition wordless
to offer me his hands in his choir of mortal
Welcomed by Hades himself for a ride
he leads me away into this screaming quiet
across his burning hell on a black steed of pride
over the fragments of my shattered soul with every stride
No resistance
against the glamourous spirit of the dark soul guide
a rendezvous in the land of the black sun's spark -
that banished holy woman of the night
who wears away the ignorant soul to the dark
in the same realm that is permeated by the gloomy rays of light
unreservedly to that soul only
who knows how to see in the dark lonely
Passing Tartarus with all those lost screaming voices
echoing in a deep growl and grim noises
eternally cut bands of the damned in alliance
in a dance with titans and giants
Forgotten in the lightless abyss
swallowed up along with their lives amiss
shivering waiting and scared bound
jealously guarded by Cerberus this bloody hound
In dull mirrors they vanish into the black sea
and I realise they are me
he allows me to pass from his shadowy space
like I leave the forgotten ones in my dream's place
for those lost it is a dwelling of lust and shame
a never-ending nightmare of blame
My shadow is thrown on sparkling gold
which I have never known - also which I never wanted to force
my dark guide as guardian of the threshold
protects like a dragon my inexhaustible source
In the pale-lighted chamber of mystery
my heart's unredeemed misery
where the eternally damned shadowy bloomed
cling like withered flowers to my gold
he sits and waits until his guest will see finally
to claim the treasure as his own bold
so the light of wisdom will give new life to the doomed
© 2017/2024 Carmina Philia

The depiction of a stylised woman's face on a bright circle represents the moon. The light-coloured circle is underlaid with a darker green circle.

Did you know...?

The idea of a soul companion goes back to archaic shamanism. The shaman accompanied the dead souls into the realm of the dead. It is a select club of those who are also called psychopompos. Its members are at home in all cultures.

The messenger of the gods Hermes bore this title, which he once took over from Apollo. In ancient Egypt, it was Anubis, the dog- or jackal-headed one. The Germanic Valkyries are also involved. They took the fallen warriors from the battlefield and led them to Valhalla. Ogma was the Celtic psychopomp who led the souls to the Otherworld. In Christian doctrine, the archangel Michael and the patron saint of travellers, Christopher, safely accompany the souls on their final journey. And in Islam, the angel Azrael guides the souls to God. Truly a select circle of soul companions.

You never walk alone!

The Underworld in Ancient Times

Roman mythology. God of the underworld. Male, naked, standing, bearded, three-headed dog. Historical commentary: A reduced copy of a marble statue together with the statues of Neptune, Amphitrite and Ceres, was commissioned from Michel Anguier for the decoration of the domed grove at Versailles. See also the engravings by Desplaces.

Anonymous after Michel André Anguier (1612-1686). Pluto is accompanied by his dog Cerberus. Bronze. Paris, Carnavalet Museum.

The realm of the dead in Hades, or Hades as a place, was reserved for every soul. No ifs and buts, no bargaining. Well, mostly. Sometimes even a god of the dead can be persuaded. This was the case with Persephone, who remained on Earth for nine months of the year at the behest of Zeus and was only allowed to share hell with Hades during the three winter months. Although in the beginning she was forced to stay, Persephone was hijacked by Hades into the realm of the dead, a timeless love developed between the two. The underworld also has romance in it's programme from time to time.

The
"Underworld of Greek mythology"
at Wikipedia.

And when it comes to gold, it's (usually) about a valuable gift. Perhaps you will find yourself in this poem.

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